Understanding Child Abuse

HOW TO CRUSH KID MIN(istry):

Understanding Child Abuse

Child means a person under 18 years of age.

Child sexual abuse is:

any sexual activity with a child whether in the home by a caretaker, in a daycare situation, a foster/residential setting, or in any other setting, including on the street by a person unknown to the child. The abuser may be an adult, an adolescent, or another child provided the child is four years older than the victim (National Resource Center on Child Sexual Abuse, 1992).

Child sexual abuse may be violent or nonviolent.

All child sexual abuse is an exploitation of a child’s vulnerability and powerlessness in which the abuser is fully responsible for the actions. Child sexual abuse is a criminal behavior that involves children in sexual behavior for which they are not personally, socially, and developmentally ready.

Church volunteers and staff should be alert to the physical signs of abuse and molestation, as well as to behavioral and verbal signs that a victim may exhibit.

Other Indicators of Abuse

Physical signs may include: lacerations, bruises, irritation, pain or injury to the genital area, difficulty with urination, discomfort when sitting, torn or bloody underclothing

• Has an injury (e.g. a patch of missing hair, a burn, or a bruise) that cannot be adequately explained or which the child attempts to hide or deny.

• †Has an inordinate number of unexplained injuries.

• Is frequently dirty, smelly, or inadequately dressed, bad teeth, or hair falling out, is undernourished, does not receive appropriate medical care for injuries.

Behavioral signs may include anxiety when approaching church or nursery area, nervous or hostile behavior toward adults, nightmares, sexual self-consciousness, acting out of sexual behavior, and withdrawal from church activities and friends.

• Alludes to abuse or neglect in writing, in prayer requests, or in drawings.

• †Has an age-inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual matters.

Verbal signs may include the following statements: I don’t like ____, ___ does things to me when we’re alone, I don’t like to be alone with___, ___fooled around with me.

• Verbally complains about, or mentions in passing, specific acts of abuse or neglect.

• †Verbally complains about, or mentions in passing, vague reference to having to do bad things or having bad/secret things done to him/her.

Next week we’ll cover what to do if you suspect abuse.

Steps to Prevent Abuse

HOW TO CRUSH KID MIN(istry):

Understanding Child Abuse

Steps to Prevent Abuse

Believe it or not, your proactive approach to preventing child abuse in your church or faith-based organization actually steers perpetrators away. Abusers are good at hiding in the shadows, but if you’re shining a bright light on your methods for preventing abuse and intentions to prosecute abusers, they’ll seek easier territory.

Child sex offenders often disguise themselves as harmless and caring people. They usually place themselves in a leadership role. Most importantly, these predators have the ability to create a sense of trust with both the child and their parents and are crafty at luring children into situations that may allow the offender to abuse the child.

At Restore we have some policies in place to make it difficult for sex offenders to have access to our children but also to prevent our volunteers from unfounded allegations. 

GENERAL REQUIREMENTS

• Children’s ministry leaders must be at least 18 years of age.

• Children’s ministry helpers aka Junior Volunteers must be in at least 4th grade

• Children’s ministry TEACHERS must be associated with Restore Church for at least six months prior to volunteering and should also be covenant members or in the process of becoming covenant members

• Any non-member volunteer should be regular attendees of the church for at least 6 months before being appointed to any service in the children’s ministry.

• All children’s ministry leaders and teachers must successfully complete background checks.

• All volunteers must participate in an Orientation and attend Child Protection Training.

• After being approved, all volunteers must attend Sunday Worship Services at least three times a month unless away or ill.

• All Children’s ministry leaders and helpers must review, sign, and act in accordance with the Restore Church Child Protection Policy.

THE “TWO-ADULT RULE

Restore strives to meet the “two-adult rule” whenever possible. As our volunteer pool grows we hope to make this a norm in our kids’ spaces.

• Two approved workers must always be present during any children’s activity. One worker must be an adult background-checked member. 

  • HUSBAND & WIFE volunteer teams do not count as “two approved adults” and should never serve in the same classroom together.

• One child is never alone with one adult. 

  • EXCEPTION: When taking a child to the bathroom one adult female is allowed.

• If a child needs to use the restroom in the upper class classes the jr. helper will escort the child to the bathroom and the Adult teacher will leave the door of the classroom open until he/she returns. If this is not possible plan restroom breaks to be taken at scheduled times as a whole class.

• We have an Open Door policy; parents or staff may visit and observe classes at any time.

PHYSICAL CONTACT

Physical touch and affection are important to a child’s physical and emotional development; however, they should be appropriate. When a child unintentionally inappropriately touches an adult, no reference to it should be made to the child, simply redirect their hand or body. If intentional, simply correct with the same tone as any other correction and then move on. Do not make a big issue of it.

These behaviors are generally ok. However, even appropriate touch can be inappropriate when excessive, done for staff’s personal pleasure or when the intention is to give preferential treatment.

PHYSICAL CONTACT:

1. Shaking hands.

2. High fives.

3. Hand signs and greetings.

4. Side hugs.

Even physical contact that is considered ‘appropriate’ must be consented to by the minor, and be appropriate for the situation.

Understanding Child Abuse

HOW TO CRUSH KID MIN(istry):

Understanding Child Abuse

The Statistics are Staggering

• Approximately 5 children die every day because of child abuse.

• 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before they reach age 18.

• 90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way. 68% are abused by a family member.

• Most children become victims of abuse and neglect at 18 months or younger.

• In 2010, 1,537 children died of abuse or neglect. 79.4% were under the age of 4 and 47.7% were under the age of 1.

• Boys (48.5%) and girls (51.2%) become victims at nearly the same rate.

• 3.6 million cases of child abuse are reported every year in the U.S.

• Abused and neglected children are 11 times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as an adult.

• About 80% of 21-year-olds who were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

• 14% of all men and 36% of all women in prison were abused as children.

• Abused children are less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. They’re also 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.

• For every incident of child abuse or neglect that’s reported, an estimated two incidents go unreported.

• Child abuse occurs across all socioeconomic levels, ethnic and cultural lines, and religions and education levels.

• Neglect, the most widespread form of child abuse, makes up more than 59% of abuse cases.

Consequences of abuse

Victims of child abuse often struggle with the emotional and spiritual effects of this sin for the rest of their lives. Sadly, child abuse victims are themselves at higher risk of inflicting the abuse on other children.

The lifelong damage caused by child abuse is devastating. Those working in ministries have a tremendous opportunity to protect children, but many don't know the signs of abuse because they’ve never been properly trained.

With less than 38% of child victims disclosing they’ve been sexually abused, it’s critical training is taken seriously by adults.

This is a tough but important topic to tackle. Many times churches take the “not my church” stance only to find out too late that it can indeed happen at your church.

By taking action and educating our volunteers, staff, and ministry leaders, we will be better able to prevent abuse from occurring and feel better equipped to spot the signs of abuse and take the appropriate next steps.

Over the next few weeks we’ll be touching on some key principles of child abuse prevention, including:

• Understanding what child abuse is and is not

• Rules & boundaries we have to keep kids safe

• Rules & boundaries we have to keep volunteers safe from false allegations

• Policies we have in place to help prevent child abusers from having access to our kids

• and when and how to report suspected abuse.

If at any point you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach out!